Anal Pleasure for Him
One of the most popular topics in Kim's workshop Confidence Building Secrets for Pleasuring Him is anal play. Women are often keen to try it but they don't know where to start and they're worried they might hurt their partner. It's true that when it comes to anal play (for both men and women), it's easy to inadvertently hurt the one you're trying to pleasure. The anus is incredibly sensitive and the skin is prone to tearing so it's important to GO SLOWLY.
The other thing to keep in mind is lube. When it comes to anal play, it's not just a fun addition - it's an absolute necessity. The anus doesn't self lubricate, and as we mentioned, the skin is prone to tearing. So you'll want to have some thick, water-based lube handy (something like Sliquid Gel or Hathor works well).
You'll also want to make sure your nails are nice and short. If you've got long nails you don't want to part with, try this tip from the anal pleasure connoisseur, Tristan Taormino. She suggests putting cotton balls in the tips of a pair of latex gloves so that the nails are padded. Tristan has lots of great resources for anal play, including her award-winning film The Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men.
Now that you know to go slowly, have lube on the bedside table, and to keep those nails short, what should you actually do? We suggest starting with small circles on the outside of the anus using the pad of your finger. This area is rich in nerve endings (the same way it is for women) and it's a great way to gauge their interest and comfort level. If they seem interested in penetration, often showing you by raising their buttocks slightly, you can slowly start to insert one finger, curving it forward towards the belly button as if you're saying "come here" (if they are on their tummy, your finger would be curved down). You don't want to thrust in and out too much, but rather focus on slowly curling the finger while it's inside the anus. This motion is the best way to find the prostate, which is located about 2-3 inches inside the anus and is about the size of a walnut.
Once they're warmed up, you can try inserting a small toy, like the Pleasure Plug 1 or the Tantus Pro-Touch. The Pro-Touch is curved to mimic that come hither motion and the tip is about the size of a finger, making it ideal for beginners. That said, it features a bullet vibe so it works equally well for those looking for a more intense sensation. The bullet is removable so it's easy to clean and since it's made of silicone you can even boil it if you want to. It's one of the toys featured in Tristan's instructional video and we've had great feedback from customers.
Hope this info makes you feel more empowered to give anal pleasure a try!